DEEP SECRET WITHIN

You have read this or some of it but I wanted you to see that I have or am on my third page. A very slow prosess. Its a rough draft. Later I will go in and open it up alottle and put it in more perspective...But anyway I need help ...notso much right know but i tend to get off track of what i am righting or jump ahead...so latter i would like to get together with you and creat an outline of some sorts. Try to read it all the way thru and tell me what you think....Sorry for all the reading...Not really!...What do you think of my direction? Page 1 It's Time... time for me to persue my calling,

It just came to me I know what it is today with no dout. I have understanding of my whole life and my purpuse. I have full revelation of what I am suppose to do in my life. To truly hate evil and to reconize it has made me come to an end of a junory . I hate that we were raised by a demon possesed mom ! I hate that she lie in bed being possesed of devils! at this very moment! I hate that my daughter is dwelling , exsisting living in both relms, being captured and captivated! I going to tell the truth! I hate evil... After I tell on these engeries to God. Im telling on these energies to you. Im a witness! I hate that also , I even hate that I have to write this book althought I have always wanted to write a book. Anyway you know how I roll:) See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil. I practice this every day. And in noways do I want my writings to entertain evil spirits. How many millions of people are out there just like our mom and others in our family that don't even know. It doesent even have to be on the extreem like in our family it doesent have to be noticable to anyone because now a days it wears a mask even a happy mask. These energies come in different masses , they become one force forming into one upon different entravels. in the spiritual realm energies are our demons, falling angles, ancient people who followed lucifer, Aleins ufos, animals ect.... most of the time we can't see them. They are not the sasquish big footect. or the monsters in the deep sea and waters .
These creatures are for the time of the end. About three weeks befor e my birthday i was in bed almost asleep, then somthing happened and I new I was going to die. I new it with no doute, but i didn't! I woke up the next mornig and called my daughter April and told her that i was supposed to die last night. She told me she had a dream about me last night. There was a big hug black fluffy cloud that was hanging out over the house. April keep asking people if they new why the clould was there but no one would answer her. We both went out side to sit and there was a man in the next houes over from us and the clould streched out its lasso and quickly took the guy up. Page 2 Serena Aprils little girl wants to go to the cloud as it approaches me but for fear of not knowing if it was evil or good pulls serena and takes her in the house. I came into the house a few minuts later with a big smile . Aprils look at me with excitment ...well what did he say? I said , He said he liked my birthday. Needless to say I was looking forward to my birthday .

By the time my birthday came I had forgotten about the dream. And then on my birthday I was inlighten and now here I am , were Im suppose to be. I have understanding to keep things within for it's time and purpose. but did I listen? No! I held my toung for a couple of weeks and I told my mon about my inlightinment! Shes insaine, mentally ill, stricken with phosiycos...she's demon possesed! Then I went and told my daughter Shannon who is skystafranic, sees, feels ,talks with ,cunsults with ,listens to, becomes paralized by demons and spirts of the unknown and unseen...she lives in both relms! She also sees angles , visions good things in the relm. There is a change in my mom now, for what i had exposed to her by all that i had said about my enlightinment . When I was done telling her a certian energie or intity looked at me thru her eyes. Oh great I thought!. an angery intence violent peircing entity and I woke it up by saying what i said. Shes on medication geodom --- This certian entity is now trying to come out. It is having a hard time trying to overide the medician , it can only show itself thru my mom in small intervals. Guess I made myself a target. These demons and enties that plage my mom are motovated by there call to take her to the blackness of darkness forever. I don't think any of these demons and entitys can over ride the medication...not after i witnessed them gathering together and going deep with in her to cause sickness and desiese. These energies are actually devouring and feasting on my mom. I knew it was dreadful when I felf and saw these energies leave the atmosphere and go back into her. I knew they had an agenda and it was time for there next move.
This energie is absurd!! Blackness of darkness surrounds me with no dispair . Lurking around walls exsposing more and more of Page 3 itself. It's sick self. It to me is crose ...I say to myself I am not intimidated, in know way...but I am! It's starting to effect my thoughs one again. I can hear it begain to talk to me in my head. Needfull of my attention but possessed of desiring my soul my whole being bit by bit once again...my mother...begenings. She appears to be nice to me and I am pushing her away ...She to me at this very moment is pothitic...needful towards me by the engeries that control her...She has no clue! Yet she does.
The interuptions the little noises , walking faster and faster around me ...I feel I am living with a dead person a walking dead person . Her stench is thick covering smothering this entire place...A walking dead person that is only alive by the demens that possess her. I honestly feel that this stench is making me ill, I think it's alive , a dead person inside mom, what did and is she doing? did she give her soul to the devil? Anyway this is my morning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~these are notes for latter~~~~~~~~~ I feel and pick up on energies. from people and the atmosphere. Inclosed within! Can you feel somthing and it not be a feeling but a thought that has you embedded in an atmossphere of energies? Is what I feel right now energies that I am so controlled by or are they just emotoins in the sence of feelings. How do I brake out ? Its in my enviroment, my home. I have given up controll of my atmospher because of my roomates...(my parents)...It didd'nt start off that way but it is. This atmosphere is heavey to me , with hardly any escape in a small house. An escape of what lives around my mom in the spiritual realm. It won't leave because she is that wich surrounds her. What surrounds you is what you surrender to...from both realms. Some of these energies will come out from a person to build and brodden there domain. They travel in masses or alone but are never alone. When they form into a mass they are as one with the same mine the same knowing. As one in the same, yet they can seperate into different identies.

UNEDITED ON s.a.d.

Hello, I can totally be entertained by my own thoughts. I fine that thoughts thinking, also meditation, if used properly are linked to wisdom. - I am a pen of a ready writer- I used to confess this ,meditate and think on it be thankfull for it. It is now come upon me. I can only write to you bits and pieces at a time. How are you going to compose this? As letters? if so I should start them as dear?



social anxiety disorder for me is a strong intense overpowering feeling. In the most profound meaning of the word feeling. The sensation of touch also is profound to me. I feel energies around me all the time the negative (S.A.D)energies that comes as a dark thick low hovering embracing cloud, and when it bares witness to my spirit or aura even ions ,it takes away my power bit by bit, by bit... until i get out of a situation i perhaps may be in. It also comes to me when i am alone not as thoughts but as feeling of strong energies. Iam not on medication, I have learn not to live by this disorder...well not really but I am working on it every day. I apsaloutly hate it and wish I didn't have to deal with it. It's like living with a presents almost like s.a.d. has its own spirit. Another odd thing about this is that it seems to hangout with or attach itself to other people as a carrier would a disease. you could say i am infected with a virus and perhaps you were or are the carrier. It's all about negative energies .energy is a living force and exist in both worlds ,the physical and the spiritual realms. I have learnt to discern certain energies because i am susceptible to them. I try to be not moved by them . My new way of life is this See No Evil Hear No Evil Speak No Evil... Feel No Evil .
Thanksgiving, Thanks giving, Thanks....Giving. Be thankful in everything. I'm so thankful, for God for entrusting me with a life that is so beaten so bruised so bewildered. My road to fulfill a purpose for the right of a life that is filled with undying torturous behavior, so far unwilling to sacrifice. My daughter, my daughter loley art though daughter, Shakes spare such passion , sacrifice such conviction! My daughter called me addiction listened, addiction spoke to me ,my daughter listened. Addiction is my daughter ,my daughter is addiction


what is it that comes over me so smothering so evil so condeming... Its what I feel not what i see . robbing me of life ...Your not worthy!!!! Its not what I think Its what I feel...Its alive, its real. My body wants to respond by rolling my shoulders forward hiding my breast, why? I don't know but its is an awefull feeling. Im screamming inside so much screaming. I feel my chest tighten up ,Im awear of my body my thoughts my everymove all i am doing is using the computer but moms sitting there. I feel pulled I believe I am being pulled, pulled away from my dreams away from my happiness away from love .